Undying Love
by Kryshane
Summary: Jamie and Landon's story continues during and after their wedding, until her devastating death. [ one R rated chapter for graphic sexuality. There's a warning at it's heading. The rest is rated PG for language and sensuality. *PLEASE REVIEW!* ]
1. Default Chapter

Somehow I had been able to had been able to hold back my tears as she walked down the aisle. Never in my life had I imagined that I, the rebellious Landon Carter, would even date Jamie Sullivan. It never even occurred in my mind. But now I see her, in her dazzling white gown, approaching me. I can feel the stunned look I had on my face.. never had I ever depicted anyone to ever look as beautiful as she did on that day. The music played, some people sniffled and whimpered in the rows, but at that point, I was unaware of all other noises. My eyes and ears were on her, and only her, and the only noise I heard was the tapping of her pearly, heeled shoes on the hard floor. as she stepped up on the low platform and turned to meet me, I was consumed by the cheerful smile on her face. I felt my lips instantly curve into a half smile. her natural beauty was like no one else I had ever seen. how I longed to hold her then, to swipe my fingers across her rosy cheek. and just to stare into her eyes while touching her. she lifted her hand, and I took it into mine, rubbing my thumb against her hand's soft skin. her father had already started reciting the same bible passage as I read aloud to her in the rehabilitation center, as I mouthed the words "I love you" to her, still smiling like it was the happiest day of my life. well, it was, but it wasn't even over yet. she cutely mouthed it back, and smiled. as he gently closed his bible, we said our vows. I was surprised I could even speak, I was so amazed by this feeling I had. I had finally understood exactly what she meant, that day on the pier, when I confessed my love for her. Wonder, beauty, joy, love.. it's the center of everything. But unlike she explained, I could see it. It was Jamie. we slipped the rings onto each other's fingers and I held her hand a little bit longer, in a cross between biting my lip and smiling as I waited for my cue. "I now pronounce you man and wife.. you may kiss the bride." Reverend Sullivan said calmly, grinning slightly. I stepped closer to her, and swiped my hand across her cheek. It was slightly relieving. It was then, for the first time in about 15 minutes, that I lost eye contact with her, as I leaned closer to her and closed my eyes. I gently caressed her lips with mine, tasting her for the first time as my wife. how I wanted to kiss her more passionately, to massage her tongue with mine. I could also feel her tenseness, how she was feeling exactly as I did. my hand rested on her waist, the other cradling her cheek in my palm. we slowly distanced and fluttered our eyes open, and we smiled in such delight. we were almost, too in love. the audience clapped, out friends and family sniffed and teared, and I noticed a tear slide down Jamie's cheek as she smiled ecstatically. I smiled too, wiping it away with my thumb. I loved Jamie like I could never love another, and she was now mine to have and cherish until the day we die. and I prayed to God, that he'd delay her time. thankfully, he listened. 


	2. Chapter 2

The music started playing and I clutched onto her hand. The bride's maid gave Jamie back her flowers.. those pink and red roses resembled the delicate shades of her complexion. We quickly walked back down the aisle, and I smiled joyfully. as we stepped outside, I turned to Jamie, and exclaimed "I've never been so happy in all my life. Thank God for you!" and I kissed her once again. she clasped her hand to my shoulder and said "I love you.." Her voice cracked as she said it, as she was almost crying with happiness. I squeezed her hand and stepped down the stairs with her, our shoes kicking the scattered rose petals as we walked. the crowed started out the door, and I heard my friends shouting to us as me made it to the limo. "Congrats, Landon!" I heard Dean shout. Jamie and I turned to see our friends, and we were shocked by the tears and smiles our old schoolmates had. Belinda then walked up to me and kissed my cheek, smiling. "Congratulations. I've never been so happy for you." "Belinda.. thank you." I responded, showing my deep appreciation for her attitude and appearance and our wedding. I was even more surprised when she then stepped to Jamie, and hugged her. "Jamie, I'm sorry about how things used to be between us. But, I'm willing to put it all behind us and start over if you are." Jamie still had that warm smile on her face. "Of course." Belinda smiled. "I'll see you guys at the reception then.." She stated happily, and walked off back into the crowd, her shiny blonde bun glistening in the sunlight. I opened the limo door to let Jamie in, and I followed her. Closing it behind us, I scooted over to her and wrapped my arms around her. She crossed her legs and rested her head on my shoulder, holding my hand. "Straight to the restaurant?" the driver asked. "Yes.. but take your time." Jamie said. He nodded and rolled up the window for our privacy. I stared at her, my eyes catching her every curve and feature. I expected her to look back. She looked down at her shoes. I could sense she was nervous about something. A happy nervous.. but not quite okay. "Are you okay, Jamie?" she looked at me and grinned. "Of course I'm okay.. it's our wedding day." I smiled back, and nodded. "My wife.. you're my wife." I held her closer and kissed her cheek. "I love you so much.. I never want this day to end. there's nothing I want more than to hold you forever." "You can." she responded. she lifted her hand and held it to my cheek, and kissed me sweetly. "I love you too." I smiled in agreement and rested my forehead on hers. At this time, not only did we feel such love for each other, and joy in our marriage.. but playful warmth. "Landon.. where exactly did you plan the reception?" "At that ocean view restaurant by the airport." She stared into my eyes for a moment, her eyebrows fuzzled. My lips slowly curved into a gentle smirk. "..why?" "Because.. I'm taking you to the Caribbean, Jamie." Her eyes widened and I beamed. "St. Lucia?!" "That's what you wanted.. so I got it for you." I responded, smiling. I would do anything for her, and whisking her away to her dream vacation on our wedding night was just the beginning. Her smiled slightly faded. "What do we do after we get there..?" I paused. I didn't know exactly what to say. I think she should know what I had on my mind.. because it was our wedding night. But if she wasn't ready, I understand.. "Whatever you want. Why, what do you want?" I stated. She looked into my eyes. I can't explain how she felt.. but I knew. I could feel it. "I.. want to show you how much I love you." I bit my bottom lip a little. I quickly leaned over and pecked her lips with a kiss. Still close to her face, I nodded, our noses almost touching. "I understand." I responded with a slight trace of a smile. The limo stopped and we looked out the window to see the crowed making their way into the restaurant. The driver stepped out of the car, and she quickly kissed me passionately to show me her thankfulness and love. I kissed her back, but it didn't last. The driver opened the door and we quickly pulled away. We stepped out, still hand in hand, the fresh scent of the ocean relieved our nerves. I slipped my other hand around her waist as we approached the door, and with the other hand, I squeezed hers. I leaned down to her ear and said "I love you.. always." There was just enough time for me to watch her smile, her eyes filling with tears, before we entered the restaurant. 


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey! Here they are, the newly-weds!" Eric exclaimed as we entered. the guests clapped at their tables, some laughed, some cried. Jamie and I sat at our reserved seats in the front of the large reception area, at the head of the table where our closest guests sat. before us was a large podium for our loved ones to share their feelings and express their contrast, and Jamie was amazed by this. "Landon.. this is so beautiful. It's exactly what I dreamed of.. and wished for in our wedding. Thank you, I love you." she said, before kissing my cheek. A loud "Awe" was released from the crowd, and we blushed. Jamie giggled a little.. but I just had a crooked smile on my face. all the attention was on us.. and I was not exactly used to it all. But it felt good, and I'm sure Jamie shared the feeling. It was then, for the first time since we were at the church, that her hand was released from mine. she brushed her hair away from her face and sipped her wine.. and I wasn't even aware that I was staring at her stunning beauty. My mother touched my hand. "Landon. I'm so proud of you. You've become the responsible man I never thought you could be." A tear streamed down her cheek. I wiped it away for her. "Mom, thank you. It may have been Jamie that changed me for the better.. but who would I be without you?" I kissed her cheek and smiled as I heard a tap on the podium microphone. We all glanced up to see my father there, holding his drink. He looked worried and nervous, as if I would not like the fact that he was there.. or even at my wedding. But I had sent him an invitation.. "Everyone.. um, I'd just like to share with you all how I feel about this.." he glanced to me. "Especially you, Landon." I nodded slightly, and he looked into the crowd again. "I haven't been the father I should.. or could have been to Landon, and I'm well aware that I'm not at all responsible for his drastic change in maturity. I'm sorry for not being there, and for not spending enough time with you. And after those years.. you just suddenly started to realize I wasn't a good parent. Even when I tried to change that, like coming to your school play, you still couldn't call me your father. But, I want you, and everyone else to know, that I care about you, and I'm proud of you, for the man that you are and have become. I wouldn't change anything about you for the world, and I love you, but I'm asking for a second chance at fatherhood." He stepped down with his drink and stood next to me at my table. "I'd like to propose a toast to my brilliant son, and his amazing wife. Congratulations, Landon." They toasted, and I looked to Jamie. she smiled slightly and nodded at me. I stood to meet my father's eyes. "You don't need a second chance, dad. I now, and always, consider you my father." We hugged. He nodded, and sat by us at the table. Jamie squeezed my hand and smiled at me. I couldn't help but smile back. It was then Jamie's father took the podium. "Thank you for that, Mr. Carter. I'm sure we're all very touched and relieved by that, because I am. I'd now like to share how I feel about this, being Jamie's father." he sighed. "I've known Landon since he was a young troublesome boy, and I could never imagine my Jamie having anything to do with him. But that one day when he showed up at my house to rehearse their lines, I found myself angry. I thought I was at Jamie, or even Landon.. but now I realize that I was angry because I knew I would lose my daughter to this young man. I don't know how I knew, but I sensed it early on. It was hard, and I worried for her, especially with her condition.. but I can see that Landon is what keeps Jamie well. And, I saw how Jamie changed Landon into the wonderful person he is now. Landon, there is not another in this world who I'd rather see as Jamie's husband. and Jamie, I'm proud of your maturity. I'm upset to see you're not my little Jamie Sullivan, but the grown Jamie Carter. But I'm not upset that you are as happy as you can be. Thank you." He said, and stepped down. He sat back at our table and smiled at us, and Jamie cried softly with happiness. "Landon, " Jamie started, "Go up there and say something." I really didn't know what I was going to say, but I did as she told me anyway. I found myself standing in front of all my guests, friends and family, silent. I scoffed. "... I really don't know what to say, but I feel as though I should at least make an appearance up here." my audience giggled. " I guess I should tell you all my opinion of this day. And to tell you the truth, I'm really nervous. Just being here, on this day, is a true rush. But, it's the best day of my life. I'm now married to the only girl I have ever, and always will, love. I thank God for every day.. every moment I spent with her. and I look forward to the rest. To be in love is amazing, and I feel more in love than anybody has ever been before. Thank you for everything you've done for me, all the ways you have changed my life. I'm in love with you, Jamie, and I always will be." It was then the audience turned from freakishly silent to whimpers and awe's. I stepped down and sat back in my seat, to see my crying Jamie. We wrapped our arms around each other and we kissed, our guests consumed by our undying love. about an hour later, Eric looked to his watch. "Hey, Landon, don't you have a plane to catch in 40 minutes?" My eyes widened. "Yes!" Jamie, we have to go." she smiled ecstatically, anticipating our honeymoon, and we said our good- bye's and hugged. we would be gone for 5 days, just the two of us. we hurried out the door, waving, and got into our limo. he took off to the airport, Jamie and I laughing in the back seat, kissing like teenagers. .. well, we were 18. 


	4. Chapter 4

[ rated R ]  
  
We boarded the plane holding hands and smiling. We were in such a rush to make it on time, it was funny. The other passengers on the plane couldn't help but notice we were just married.. I was in my tux and Jamie in her gown. Many congratulated us as we headed to our seats in the back. We sat down next to each other, still in a playful, giggly mood. Our bags, already there, as I had used the luggage transport, so we were worry-free. I wrapped my arms around her, and sat just like we did in the limo. But now, we had to whisper so people wouldn't hear us. I leaned over to her ear. "Jamie.. what are you thinking about, honey?" "I don't know.. so many things are running through my mind! I feel.. so in love right now." I smiled. "Come on. your thoughts must revolve around something.." Jamie nodded slightly. "Yeah.. I'm thinking about tonight." I felt like laughing. I ran my fingers through her long, brown strands. "what about it." she sighed. "Do you feel comfortable talking about this?" I asked. "With you, of course I do. You're the object of my affection.." "You're ready..." She paused, and nodded again. "Ye.. yeah.. I mean, I'm married now, and I'm so in love with you.. and I want it." I was sort of confused. "Then what's wrong?" "Well.. remember what I said to you.. on the pier. When you said you might kiss me." I nodded. "Yeah, you said you might be bad at it." .. silence. "Oh, Jamie, that's not possible." She scoffed, and I smiled. "I'm not worried about it, like, just doing it.." "Okay.." she seemed so tense. "I'm worried about what it will be like. I really might be bad at it. or, it might hurt, or something. I want to do it, I'm totally amazed by how in love I am with you. I want to show you how much I love you. it's.. a gift I'm giving to you, that only you will have. I don't want to upset you." I was hurt by the way she felt. nothing could change how I felt about her, even that. she's the best person I have ever known in my life, she knows it. why should she be upset? I rested my forehead to the side of her head, and whispered into her ear.. "Jamie, I love you, and nothing can change that. And I need you to understand that.. that doesn't matter. and I'm sure everything will be fine, because you're a woman now. if anything goes wrong Jamie, don't blame yourself. there will be other times. nothing that happens will disappoint me, because I'm too in love with everything else about you." I kissed her cheek, and her lips slowly curved into a smile. "I'm not worried anymore."  
  
the rest of the flight was just your typical blue talk and love. for 5 hours, we just talked about nonsense and this unbelievable day. we kissed, laughed, and kissed more. our hearts were ringing, the tunes of our souls were singing.. and nothing could take that feeling away. when the plane landed, we were almost upset that the ride was over. but the best was yet to come. Jamie had even made me a little nervous about tonight.. so we were both a little weirded out and shaken. but deep down, we knew nothing would go wrong. we stepped off the plane to find the magnificent night sky above. our luggage, already in our ride, just as I had asked for. I glanced to my watch, and it was 9:00 at night. We stepped into our ride and we taken to the hotel. We were both feeling weird.. we didn't talk much on the way. We didn't have much more to talk about after those 5 hours on the plane. So, I just held her hand and stroked her hair. As we arrived after that short ride, we again smelled the fresh ocean. The scent wasn't as strong as it was in North Carolina.. the water here was so clear.. but it was so relaxing. The bell-boy took our bags up the room as we followed, holding hands. He left our bags on the floor and left.. and there we were, standing alone, behind the closed door.  
  
She walked over to the balcony overlooking the sea. I followed her. The balcony doors were so close to the bed, it was almost like a window so the sun can cascade in the morning. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" she said. "Mhm." I said, sort of speechless, consumed in her beauty. She looked down to her shoes, and I looked at her. she glanced up at me, and I stared deeply into her chocolate eyes. "I have intense butterflies in my stomach right now." she said softly. Her face, her tone.. it was just like the day on the pier. That nervous, loving expression. I knew exactly what she meant. And it was such a feeling of nerves, love.. anticipation. I cradled my hand to her cheek and gave her a half smile, which she returned, lifting her chin. she lifted her hands to my shoulders, I watched as her eyes slowly closed as I leaned down to caress her lips with my own. she took initiative, and began to slip my tux jacket down my arms. I brought one hand to her shoulder, as the other slid down her cheek and neck to the other. I slowly pushed the lace straps of her gown down her arms until it fell to the floor. she pulled away and looked straight into my eyes, plainly telling me how nervous she was, and her slight embarrassment. without a smile or even a blink, I began to unbutton my shirt, and she slid the belt from my waistline. Moving silently towards the bed with her in my arms, her feather light weight and silken garment pressing against my arms, I felt a sort of tension build in my stomach. Stooping lowly, I laid her upon the flawless comforter, watching it wrinkle and dip around her body. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of her, strands of silken brown spilling down upon pale and exposed shoulders, her lips damp and parted with anticipation, her eyes wide and containing a small look of fright. I couldn't blame her, after all she was still a virgin. Stepping closer to the bed, I crawled up onto it stretching my body out over hers, noting the slight gasp as the evidence of my arousal pressed against her. It was just so perfect at that moment, the sights, smells, tastes, feelings. I bent my head down, lids lowering to conceal eyes filled with lust and love, and captured her tender labium's with my own parting them with a flicker of a tongue. The kiss was glorious, and gave me a chance to calm her down while my hands gripped the strap of the small piece of clothing covering her body, and pull them down exposing breasts that were just as perfect as I'd imagined. Pulling my lips away from her own, I bent my head again and started pressing kisses along her neck, my hands coming up to cup the soft mounds gently, eliciting a slight moan from her damp lips. Soon, I was stepping back and sliding the silken teddy from her body, tossing it aside to land in a small rustle of cloth on the floor. At that instant, I knew perfection lived in Jamie. I moved back from her slowly, staring into her glistening, chocolates eyes, silently exposing how I shared her nervousness and frightful anticipation. I hooked fingers into the waistband of my boxers, and slide them from my hips and down, revealing everything to her. I tried to tell myself my body was just heating up because the room temperature was high, not because I was blushing. Moving my body back up again, I spread myself out atop her, the warm we were emitting together was causing sweat to pour down both our bodies and mix together. My hands slid up and down her creamy smooth sides, words of comfort and soft sounds sliding from my parted lips. Her legs slid apart slowly, and I moved between them. Christ, I could feel her heat, it was drawing me forward and forward I did go, pressing against her and sliding myself into the scalding heat that was her, pausing to allow her to adjust, wincing at the pained cry that escaped her lips when I was the rest of the way in. Pressing my lips to hers again, I waited for her to tell me it was okay, before I began thrusting slowly, moans and cries spilling from somewhere deep inside of me, mixing with her own. We moved together as one, not as Landon and Jamie, but as some LandonJamie being, we were completely together then. My thrusting increased, as did the pressure of her fingernails digging into the skin of my back, and all too soon my body was awash with completion and my seed was spilt into her body. Her head tossed back, strands of brown spreading across the pristine white of the pillow case, as she clenched around me moaning her own release. Ever so slowly, I slid from her and fell to my side next to her, hand reaching up to brush damp strands away from her forehead. Then she turned to me and smiled, and again I saw perfection, felt perfection when she moved towards me pillowing her head on my chest, as my strong arms came to wrap around her lithe form. I heard her murmured I love you before she fell into a deep sleep, and I kissed her temple softly. "I love you too, Jamie Carter.." 


	5. Chapter 5

I awoke the next morning to hear the faint sounds of water hitting hard tile through the bathroom door. Jamie had already gotten up and started taking a shower. I smirked, reminiscing about the wonder and beauty last night was. It was everything I imagined, and more. the same knot in the depths of my stomach that faded as I drifted off to sleep returned as I thought about it. I brought my hand to my face and wiped across my forehead as tried to imagine what Jamie had felt, what she was feeling at this very moment. I leaned over and unzipped my suitcase, taking clean boxers in my grip, but I just rested my head on the edge of the bed for a moment in slight confusion and embarrassment sure, we were now married, and we were very in love. but Jamie had just lost her virginity.. her bittersweet virginity that no one else could imagine her ever losing. but it was now something I had in my ownership. In her words, a gift she had given me. I smirked again, sitting up and sliding the shorts up to my waist. I stood and stepped over to the veranda, sliding the door open. I stepped out, feeling the warm Caribbean sun on my face, barely noticing the squeak of the shower handle being turned off. I clasped my hands to the thin rail, and gazed out to the beautiful aqua sea and its white sand. I remembered the beauty and tenseness of last night, the airplane ride and our love talk.. our generally silent ride to this hotel. And how the last thing I saw outdoors before our unforgettable occasion, was the sparkling twilight seen above on this same balcony. While a half smile, still plastered on my face stayed as I listened to the ocean's roaring waves, I felt two smooth, slightly wetted arms slide around my waist. I smiled as she stepped to my side, that same loved perfection I had entered the night before. I smiled a little wider as I looked down to her, inhaling her strong, wonderful scent of honey that I could almost taste over the ocean's strong smell. it caused that knot of love in my stomach to return once again. "If it isn't my beauteous wife." I said, lovingly to her. she scoffed, a small smile on her face as she peered down to the tropical trees. "Oh, it is. With a quite a feeling I'm not used to at that." I pressed my arm to her waist as she looked up at me. "What about you?" she asked. I responded, "I've got a new feeling. I can't seem to.. get last night out of my mind. It's like I can't remember anything I saw.. but I still feel every other sense. the only thing I remember seeing is you. and those butterflies that you explained to me haven't left. this feeling is just.. " "Unexplainable." she interrupted, smirking. I nodded. "I know exactly how you feel, Landon. I feel that, and more." "What more do you feel?" I asked her. "I don't know.. I feel sort of embarrassed, I guess," she said. I knew she would, I'm not surprised. "I.. can't say exactly what for." "You don't have to." I told her. "I know what you mean. I feel it too.. but not as strong as you do, I guess. but, baby.. you have no reason to be. I've never been so amazed with anyone in my life, or by any other experience." "You have the most important gift I could ever give to another, Landon. It meant so much to me. But now, I'm so happy with giving it to you." I smiled at her. "I know I may be sick.. but I've never felt this healthy before." My smile barely faded, but I felt the knot release a little and a tear fill my eye. Of all the things to think of now, her health. But she felt healthy, so I was content. "Besides feeling a little sore." she continued. she blushed and we both laughed, and I sweetly kissed her lips once again before returning into our honeymoon suite. 


	6. Chapter 6

As our amazing workweek came to a close, we found ourselves walking along the sandy shore hand in hand, a few hours before our departure. I had been so happy the whole time of our vacation.. hell, actually, I've been more than happy since the day she said yes to my proposal. But as our last hours on this beautiful island came, I found myself in a slight of depression. Sure, I'm upset, because the honeymoon is good as done like any other couple would be. But any other couple would still be in rapture because they have the rest of their lives together. Jamie and I.. aren't so fortunate. How much longer will I have Jamie, to hold and to caress.. how much longer until the day she slips away? I pressed my eyes shut and bit my lower lip in an attempt to hold back tears as Jamie looked out to the ocean. "I can't believe this is all over.." she said quietly. I nodded, and let out "Hmm." in response. She looked up at me and stopped walking. I guess she noticed the flood and redness in my eyes. "Landon? What's wrong?" I looked to the side, away from her, at the mirrored windows of the hotel. I shrugged. She sighed. "Nevermind." There was a silence between us as we stood. She looked to the sand. "Landon.. I know how you feel, but, it's the last day of our honeymoon. Lighten up!" I didn't want to say anything, but I knew she was right. It is the last day, and I need to enjoy it while it lasts. But I was speechless. "..okay?" she asked. I turned to kiss her cheek and smiled. "Okay." I responded.  
  
Before I knew it, we were in the elevator holding all of our bags. I wasn't depressed anymore, but I felt good. We were going home to tell everyone about our extraordinary vacation.. just to make them jealous. God knows I love doing that. We walked up to the assistance counter to check out and a fairly old woman took service. "We're checking out of the honeymoon suite." I said, smiling. Jamie was looking around the hotel lobby at the tropical decor, also smiling. The woman paused from her typing. "The honeymoon suite?" she asked. My smile faded slightly, as I nodded. ".. that is what I said.." she blinked at me. "How old are you kids?" My smile disappeared and my mouth dropped a little. "What does that have to do with anything?" she just looked at me. To move things on, I looked around and rested my elbows on the counter. "18, okay." "Isn't that a little young to be married?" It was then that Jamie's attention was caught. "Excuse me?" she asked the elderly woman. "I wasn't aware that our marriage was any of your business." The woman turned to Jamie. "I don't think being wed at 18 is moral." Both Jamie and I looked to this person and our jaws dropped. She was telling Jamie about immorality? I found this quite funny. Jamie, though, looked at this woman with a glare of hostility. "Listen, can you just check us out of the room so we don't miss our flight?" I asked, irritated. The woman turned back to me, and returned to her typing, shaking her head. "Jesus Christ." I said below my breath. Jamie looked at me, wide-eyed. "Sorry." "Okay, you're all booked out." She stated. "Have a nice marriage." I turned, with my eyes still on her. "Citizen high, citizen low." I said. Jamie giggled and I smiled, and we headed to the airport.  
  
6 hours later, we were back in Beaufort. We arrived at my house, to see my mother and Reverend Sullivan waiting for us there. My mom jumped up off the couch and hugged me, saying "Welcome back! How was your honeymoon?" "Amazing." I responded. Jamie also hugged my mom, then stepped to her dad. "Welcome home, Jamie." He said, hugging her. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew he was hugging his no-longer-virginal baby girl. I tried to hide my laughter, but I smirked. Pulling away from the hug, Jamie looked to me with a funny "Dear God, he knows." expression. I nodded, still smirking. I was suddenly disrupted from my mood when I saw Jamie wipe her forehead as her eyelids lowered. My mother also noticed. "Jamie.. are you okay sweetie?" she asked. Jamie nodded. "Yeah.. I just have a headache, that's all." She smiled slightly. This worried me.. so I put my arm around her and kissed her forehead. I prayed this didn't mean what I thought it did.. 


	7. Chapter 7

When we got home, the first thing Jamie did was drop her things and collapse onto the couch. she curled up on it, her hand to her forehead, breathing slowly. I put my bags down and stepped over to her, kneeling next to her. her headache had progressively gotten worse on the 10 minute car ride to our new oceanside house. "Jamie.." she opened her eyes for me. "Are you alright?" She nodded. "I need to rest okay. that's it." "If you're not well I can bring you to the medical off--" "No, just let me sleep. We were driving alot today, I just have a headache. okay?" she tried to smile. "If you're not better tomorrow I'm calling the doctor." "Fine.." she said, rolling over. "Well can you come upstairs? you haven't even seen the bedroom.. heh.." she moaned as she got up. I smirked. "At least I know you like the couch." she smiled, and I help her go upstairs. she sort of wobbled a little bit, which worried me. "Jamie why can't you walk right?" "I think I have a migraine.. I can't see so well. I'm okay, just get me some Motrin?" "Sure thing, baby." I said as I lead her into the room. She laid down on the bed, the soft goose down blanket shifting from its flawless surface to crease around the curves of her body. she was already half asleep by the time I got back to the bedroom door. A total straight look on my face, worried as to what may be wrong, as I watched my affection fall asleep in our brand new room, still in her jeans and T-shirt. I didn't get her any Motrin or Tylenol or anything. I didn't want to wake her. I sat down on the couch alone, and buried my face in my hands. I had thought that when we got home, we could bask in the comfort of our new home. never did I think she'd be sick the day after our honeymoon. and the worst part was, I didn't know if she did in fact have a migraine headache.. or if she was falling back into her illness.  
  
exactly a week later, same time of day, she was perfect. she was actually perfect again the next day, but she would get the same knock-out headaches on and off through the week. we got in touch with the doctor about it, but he just said for her to take pain relievers and rest. we did as we were told and things went predictably. at this time, we were in our backyard, the sun was just starting to set, and Jamie was almost on top of me as we slowly swayed in our hammock. I had my arm around her as we cuddled and talked about nonsense. the had had come when we both ran out of things to say, and we were just swaying there silently as the wind chilled us. Jamie then broke the silence with her soothing voice. "Landon." "Jamie." She sighed. "I have to ask you something." I could see that she was serious. "Sure.." "What would you do.. if.. you had one wish." "If I had one wish. Hmm. Well, you're not asking me what I'd wish for, you're asking me what I'd do. And I'd give you my wish." "Why?" "Because you gave me a priceless gift, so you say. That way I'd be giving you one, too." "You already did. You gave me your love." she smiled. I smiled back. "But Jamie. what would you wish for with that gift I gave you?" "To live forever with you." "Jamie... you already will." 


	8. Chapter 8

In an attempt to make Jamie feel better about her condition, I tried to act as happy as I could. For the next few weeks, I felt like a miracle husband, smiling and joking with her when she was unhappy and not feeling well, and serious when she wanted me to be. I was always saying the right thing but she was still sad as I wore myself out trying to make her happy. I was worn out, staying home and taking care of Jamie all the time while I was working my ass off in medical school. I found myself sitting at the kitchen table, its surface strewn with books on everything from lung cancer to diabetes, studying like mad until I Jamie approaches me and asks me how I'm doing on my work. of course I always say something like "Good, working hard." or "doing my best." but what I really want to say is "If I read one more sentence I'm afraid I'm going to pass out from an overload on my mental capacity." but that would make her upset, then I'd get mad, and so on. I'm beginning to think I should have taken up mental psychology as a major for my own good. though, I'm not the person to throw my books down and say he's done when he's not. I'm going to finish this course and everyone proud, especially Jamie, whom I'd like nothing more than to make proud of me. now, it was at this time when I was working diligently on my assignments and Jamie was sitting across the table from me, drinking her coffee, silently. I looked up from my books and glanced over to her. she was quietly watching the coffee swirl from her stirs. I couldn't help my half- smile. "Bored." I said to her. "Hmm..?" she said, glancing up. "I mean you seem bored." I repeated, putting my pen down and folding my arms together. "Uh, heh, I'm.. hmm." she mumbled. I raised my eyebrows a little, in a slight worry. I rested my arms on the table and leaned closer. "You.. want to go out and do something?" she shook her head. "Are you sure?" "no, you're busy working." "I can take off some time.. it's not like I'm swamped." I responded. I was swamped. but it wasn't going to keep me away from spending time with my girl. she looked out the window and sighed. "No, Landon, I don't want to go out." I silently looked at her for a moment. "what's wrong, Jamie. you're worrying me." "Landon, I'm sick, alright. I'm not feeling as good today. I just want to stay here with you today." "you're worse then before, but, you don't want to see a doctor. you want to stay here with me, while I work, and do nothing." "yes and no." "enlighten me." "Yes, I'm worse. No, I don't want to see the doctor. yes, I want to stay here with you, no, not while you work." I paused. ".. alright." she looked unhappy. "Jamie, what are you still looking sad for? I said alright, didn't I?" "yeah.." "what more do you want? all I've been trying to do for the past month is to make you happy and I've been unsuccessful at every God damn attempt! what else can I do to see you be happy again?! that's all I want, just to see you happy, and I feel like I'm failing.." I stood up and walked over to the counter quickly. "failing in school, and failing to be your husband, and I'm afraid you think I'm failing to love you, and that's why you're sad. is it not?" she stood up. "No, no, no! you're not failing at anything! you're being everything I expected and could have ever wanted from you, and more. you're in medical school and going strong, we're married, and I know you love me like no one else ever could, and that's all I ask, and it's all I dream. is just for you to be here for me, okay?!" "I am though!" "I know you are!" "all of the work I've been putting in for you, all the money, work, sex, and love, and still you frown. what's making you sad?" "I'm afraid our time is cutting short together, Landon. that's why I want to spend time with you." "don't talk like that." "don't go into denial, Landon, what if it's too late? please Landon, just understand, that this is why I'm sad. I'm afraid, Landon. it's not you, it's just not you." "don't talk like that baby. it scares me." I could feel my tears rising, glazing over my eyes, as I bit my lip. I haven't felt this way since.. since Jamie first told me she was sick. that was the time in my life that I was in my most despair, and I'm afraid now. scared to death that it would happen again twice as bad. "I'm sorry Landon," she said past her tears. "I'm sorry for worrying you. making you mad. scaring you. I'm so sorry." she let out in what seemed to be one breath. I sniffed and wipe a tear from my eye. "it's not your fault," I said, wrapping my arms around her and holding her tightly. "I love you." I heard her whimpers as she cried on me, and a faint "I love you too. so much." as we held each other close. I kept wiping tears from my eyes. tears opposite of joy.. but still for love. 


End file.
